My order at Chick-fila was quite large as I was ordering for other people as well. I took the drinks out to my car so I would be able to carry the rest the food without having to struggle.
As I waited, I noticed a girl who looked as though she were just about to get on shift, or had just come off break. She had crimson red hair and didn’t quite seem to have the same disposition as the other employees. I don’t blame her, life is sometimes rough and I’m sure it’s hard to say, “my pleasure” all day everyday (especially when the customers may not be pleasant).
“Christi” they called my name to retrieve my food. The man behind the counter said:
“You got all this?”
“Yes, thank you.”
Suddenly, I heard, “That’s right, tell’em you don’t need a man.”
I turned to see the same girl that I had just observed moments before. I was so surprised by her comment that I was speechless.
“Tell ’em you don’t need a man!”
The words seem to echo in my head. Remembering that literally hours before she said this, I had shed tears with a woman over the loss of her dad and mine.
I began thinking about the men I’ve been honored to know. Just last night, I was swapping emails with my friend’s dad who used to take me camping. He’s done so much for my family over the years.
I thought of my brothers and their protection over me and their encouragement to pursue my passions.
I thought of my brother in laws who have helped me assemble furniture, fix computers, laugh, taught me to shoot, and to find good places to eat and just watch out for me.
I thought of the men in the church I grew up in. They were my Sunday school teacher, the teachers on Sunday and also the men who would lend a helping hand whenever necessary. As well as written more recommendation letters for me than I can count.
I thought of my Sensei who, under his even keel, I healed from a damaging work relationship.
I also thought of some of my guy friends who have poured wisdom into me and shown me some tricks of the trade or who taught me to love production.
And the friends who were there when I needed them the most. And would drop everything if I needed their help.
And of course the most important— my dad. His wisdom, his kindness, his love of sports, the scripture and being available. He taught me not to settle and to keep pressing on no matter what. To leave things better than when I found them and to love God and His word and be there for people.
So, to the woman at Chick-fila, here is my response:
This world needs men. I’m not sure what your experience has been, and if you’ve been hurt, I’m deeply sorry. But not all men are bad. Yes, there are some that are a real pill and I’ve met several, but I know the person I am today is because I have had amazing men in my life.
Those men (who you say I don’t need) have taught me to stay steady; despite hardship. They’ve taught me the power of an encouraging word. They’ve taught me to think and figure things out. And they’ve taught me that I’m worth being pursued because I’m made in the image of God… So, I am not ashamed to say that it is because of the men I have known, I am who I am and I needed them every step of the way.
So, who needs men? I’d say I do. And thank you to the men who’ve helped shape me into the person I am today. I’ve needed every single one of you 💗!
You’re right! We need community and various forms of relationships, both male and female, old and young. We are communal creatures. Unfortunately that’s also where we get hurt the most. So yes, I agree we all need good healthy positive input from safe men in our lives. Wish it was easier to come by though.
Agreed… But as I began thinking about all the men throughout my life (your dad included) I’ve had more good men in my life than bad ones. It’s just the bad ones tend to cover the good ones and make me forget about all the ones who have shaped me. Love you! Thanks for reading.
We definitely have an excellent selection of men in our family, that’s for sure. Love you!
This is such a great post!! Well said. 🙂
Thank you. Thanks for reading.
Good grief, I sure hope the wold appreciates men, cause I have a whole crop of them to offer, lol. Seriously though, I’m concerned about the increasing hostility toward men in our culture. Each of my boys is a unique creation. I can’t wait to see what they do with their lives and the talents God has given them. And I pray the world is thankful to have my boys’ contribution.
I rally liked this post, Christi.
Your little men are all incredible :)! And the world should be blessed to have them ❤️!
This is very well done Christi. I copied and pasted it for our group hoping fir it to encourage others as it has me. I am mindful of the significance of these next few days and have been praying with thanks for each of you.
Grace today dear sister,
Thank you, Uncle Stu… And thank you for being such a great man and a great uncle!
thank you Christi for writing this!!! raising boys to be godly men in a world that seems to demoralize men is no small feat. thank you for standing up for them, for us. God created man and women, they both need each other, we compliment each other! I have skills that Justin doesn’t and vice versa.
I woke up thinking about your dad this morning it was a detailed recollection of a conversation we had had. He was pretty awesome! and you are blessed beyond measure! it makes my heart ache for the women who have only known the wrong side of men, whose hearts and bodies have been bruised. I pray God can heal those wounds. Satan knows that men are needed and are very important, a fatherless home is a much easier target. I feel like I’m rambling lol but your blogs are good as they open up dialogue about harder subjects!
Praying for you and I love you dearly!
Thanks, Maria. You seem to be doing a great job raising your little men! ❤️! Keep it up. Love you lots.