I wondered around a well-known city by myself for about 3 days. Around 5:30pm every night, I would go out, grab dinner and go for hour long walks. During these walks, my mind was flooded with lies and my heart filled with hurt unlike anything I have experienced previously. The only way to help you understand the predicament I was in is that it felt as though the enemy was on my back, by my side and waiting to pounce every step I took. I felt bombarded and tortured by his voice, speculations and accusations: “You will regret this”, “You will be a wash-up”, “You won’t ever do any good”, “Your life won’t amount to anything” and “You will never make an impact”. You get the point (at least I hope you do). It felt like every second, I needed to have Scripture in my mind because his pestering was constant. When Jesus says in John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” He is so serious about all three. He wants to destroy you and he wants to destroy me. He wants to destroy the dream God has placed in our hearts. He wants to render us completely inactive for the kingdom of God. He wants take us out by whatever means possible. He wants to destroy our hope, our peace, and our very lives. He wants to make us feel like everyone has a life but you and I. These are all lies. While I was walking around fighting what seemed to be the biggest spiritual battle I have ever fought, I made up my mind that if the enemy was going to fight me- I was going to fight harder. The more sucker punches he threw, the more I’d combat with Scripture and truth! I had to and have to be reminded and remind the enemy that GREATER is HE who is IN ME than he who is in the world. Jesus died for my victory!
During my late night walks, I prayed, cried and listened to music. The song that I kept playing was:
Not backing down – Blanca
I walk the line
I stay out the way, yeah
Never speak my mind
Living in a shade of grey
But the more I get to know me
The more you start to show me
This isn’t how it’s meant to be
So I’ll just keep on walkin’
And you can keep on talkin’
Ima have to make a scene, yeah
I played it safe
Been afraid my whole life
Now things have changed
Won’t stay silent this time
No, I’m not backing down
No, you can’t count me out
NOTHING in this world gonna stop me now
No, I’m not backing down
No, I’m not backing down, down, down
I’ve watched the game
I’ve stood on the sidelines
That same old same
But now it’s my time, yeah
‘Cause if you don’t stand for nothing
You’ll always fall for something
This isn’t how it’s meant to be
So I’ll just keep on walkin’
And let ‘em do the talkin’
Ima have to make a scene, yeah
I played it safe
Been afraid my whole life
Now things have changed
Won’t stay silent this time
No, I’m not backing down
No, you can’t count me out
Nothing in this world gonna stop me now
No, I’m not backing down
No, I’m not backing down, down, down
I’ve been there
Did that
Afraid to be me so I hid that
Gripped with fear till I disappear and then
Drop to the ground like a missed catch
But I
I’m done with that
You can tell ’em all I’m done with that
No more backing down into the background
That’s now, ‘cause I put them old habits down
I follow the leader, and where He may take me may make me a leader
It’s wrote on the wall all you need do is read it
Can’t be a lame duck and go soar with the eagles
So I’m crossing the line
Tell ’em all dawg that I’ve loss too much time
Ain’t staying in this place ‘cause I gotta win this race ‘cause I’m running for a crown Can’t backing down.
I decided that night I was NOT backing down. In fact my prayer this: God, please help me to wreak havoc on the enemies kingdom because I’m tired of him wreaking havoc on yours! I am tired of seeing couples split up and families torn apart. I am tired of hearing of people surrendering their life to suicide. I am tired of seeing people hopeless. I am tired of people having their joy and peace sucked out of their life. I have seen some of these things in my life and it’s miserable! The end of John 10:10 says, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”
Yesterday, I went on another walk and I was thinking about my desire and prayer. I realized how I can wreak havoc on the enemy’s territory and it is simply this:
I will choose to be KIND; instead of rude
I will choose to LOVE; instead of hate
I will choose to get BETTER; instead of bitter
I will choose to be GIVER; instead of taker
I will choose to be SERVE; instead of be served
I will choose HOPE; instead of being hopeless
I will choose LIFE; instead of death
I will choose JOY; instead of gloom
I will choose FAITH; instead of sight
I will choose to be FEARLESS; instead of fearful
I will choose GOD’S WILL; instead of my own
I will choose to be GRATEFUL; instead of a complainer
I will choose to ENCOURAGE; instead of discourage
I will choose TRUTH; instead of lies
I will choose to be a VICTOR; instead of a victim
These are all good things, but in all honesty, I am completely incapable of doing each one of these things apart from Christ. It says in John 15:5 that apart from Christ I can do NOTHING! In Zechariah 4:6 it says, not by strength or by might but BY MY SPIRIT says the Lord. It all goes back to relationship with Jesus.
“More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing knowledge of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death;” Philippians 3:8-10
When I get to heaven God will not ask how many miles I ran, or how high my salary was, or how many degrees I obtained, or how many countries and cities I traveled to , BUT how many miles I ran to encourage others to take care of our temples, or how well I did at my job to bring glory to God, or how many people or professors I was able to build relationships with in order to win them to Christ, or how many people I was able to encourage and bless while I traveled! Without Christ my life is meaningless!
I want to encourage you and remind you that we ALL can wreak havoc on the kingdom of darkness because the GOD OF ANGELS ARMIES is on our side! If Christ is for us WHO can be against us? My friends it does not matter what kind of job you have, as long as you are being the light! It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom- you can wreak havoc on the enemy by choosing to be patient with your child like God is patient with us, and seeking to be continually united with your husband. If you are single, you can use your singleness by honoring God through your time, your freedom, and energy! My friends, it’s about being faithful where we are- wherever that is! God placed you there for a reason. There is a God in heaven who gave His only son to give YOU the victory.
“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” 1 Peter 1:3
Let’s choose to live a life pleasing to Jesus; instead of pleasing to others or ourselves. By doing so, let’s get back ground that the enemy has stolen. He has already been defeated!
So be kind, generous, patient, hopeful, fearless, better, loving, encouraging, joyful and at peace because all these things are found in Christ- He gave us the example!
My friends, let the havoc wreaking begin!
